November 15, 2015

They say don't sweat the small things in life. That might be sage advice for many; don't stress over the little things that really don't mean all that much, and your life will likely contain far less angst. Keeping minor inconveniences in perspective is certainly healthy, and building a lifestyle where anxiety is minimized is easier on you and the people around you. That's all well and good. I'm sure it works for lots of people, and that's great. But it doesn't work for me. I like to sweat the small things. I like to overreact to little annoyances, like a wrinkle in my shirt that lies uncomfortably against my back, or when I feel too hot, or any number of equally trivial, mildly bothersome conditions. Most of the things I like to get worked up over have to do with being physically uncomfortable, now that I think on it. They're silly little things, and I know it's silly to get upset over them. That's part of the fun, in fact. My shirt is wrinkled, I freak out, then I make fun of myself for freaking out. Freaking out about little things gives me a necessary outlet for expressing stress and frustration, and laughing at myself for getting worked up about minor inconveniences helps me keep them in perspective and remember that really, they are pretty meaningless. But meaningless as the things I stress about are, it is a helpful, useful practice for me.

By stressing out and sweating over the small stuff, I feel much more free to remain calm when it comes to serious matters. Everyone has stress, and everyone needs to express their frustrations and let off steam. Either we vent our frustrations in healthy ways or we erupt eventually. I choose to vent several times a day typically, never for very long, and never over anything important. It works for me. I believe it is more helpful to stay at ease and focus on what needs to be done when it comes to serious problems. I'd rather have the presence of mind and the clarity to react in the best possible way were I to, say, find myself in an impending car crash or with a morbid cancer diagnosis. I wouldn't want to freak out and panic if my ability to stay calm and drive well in an emergency situation could help minimize damage and injury. I wouldn't want to worry myself to death over my low chances of surviving my cancer. So I don't. For me, having an almost-constant supply of minor annoyances to stress about whenever I need to vent a little is extremely helpful and frees me of stress when it comes to the real problems in life.

Now, I certainly should not and can not give myself too much credit for this. I naturally am very laid back, and I, by whatever combination of nature and nurture, tend to not worry about, well, much at all. I'm not anxious or stressed by default, and I often live in a world where I happily ignore problems as much as I can and enjoy life, despite what might be going wrong around me. This can be really problematic when there are serious problems that require my attention, like getting a job or making other important decisions. It's also saved me and the people around me time and again throughout the past year. Looking back, I'm pretty sure I took my diagnosis better than anyone else. More on that next week, but I think a lot of that is just the way I am, through no credit of mine. So I really cannot say that my habit of worrying unduly over minor annoyances, giving me a healthy outlet to vent my frustrations, is how I managed to stay calm and happy this past year. A good part of that is just the way I am by default. And I certainly do not suggest that everyone try worrying about every little thing, in an attempt to live a more stress-free life. I do think that it is worth reconsidering the old adage though. Sometimes, sweating the small stuff is freeing, constructive, and healthy. For me at least, it helps me stay calm and focused when the big stuff comes my way.