Monday, July 25, 2016

July 25th, 2016

Thursday I'll have my next set of scans. Yet again my future will in large part be determined by their results. I really don't know what to expect, since I've never yet had a clear scan, but I've also had more treatment--surgery, radiation, and chemo--since my last scan. I hope they're clear, but we'll see I suppose. We should hear the results Friday or Monday, and I should be able to let you know what we find out in a week!

Monday, July 11, 2016

July 11th, 2016

I spent a blissful few days camping and going to two different theme parks this past week. Only when I arrived back home did I realize just how much had happened while I scarcely paid attention to the news. More people getting shot, more protests, retaliations, and an appalling abundance of hatred, ignorance, and division. More of the same, really, though to an unprecedented extent. It hurts my heart to see lives ended so needlessly, to see situations that should be avoidable repeating themselves over and over, to see disrespect and disregard for others growing all around. Perhaps most disheartening of all is that so little is happening to generate real, meaningful change. It is only a matter of time before we forget the names of those who were recently killed by police and those police officers killed on the job, because the next batch of killings--be it mass shootings, the murders of civilians by police officers, or vice versa--will come all too soon, and will take our attention away from the events of the past week.

I don't really think I have much of anything new to add to the conversation. I don't think anyone does, by this point. We've all voiced our thoughts on these issues far too many times by now, and we will have to voice them too many more times, before anything really changes. The only way I see anything getting resolved is by building relationships and having real conversations in-person with people on all sides of these difficult issues, not by arguing through Facebook comments or other semi-anonymous online forums. We need to stop dehumanizing the 'other side,' whoever they may be. We need to put faces and names and unique personalities to the groups we stereotype. We need to be honest about our own prejudices. Which brings me to my main point here: We need to realize that just about all of us are racist to some extent.

Nearly everyone who claims otherwise is likely either ignorant or dishonest (with themselves, primarily). I don't think I personally know anyone who can truly say they never make a judgement about someone based on their appearance. I know that I judge people based on how they look every day, despite my best efforts. Furthermore I know that sometimes, to some extent, a person's apparent race plays a part in my assessment of them. I try to be conscious of this, and to fight against it, but I know I am not always as vigilant against myself as I ought to be. I know that I sometimes consider race when forming my opinion of others, be it positive or negative, and I suspect that most other people do as well, to varying extents.

Until we acknowledge this, we will never move forward, and racial tension and inequality will continue to flourish. In my experience those who most vehemently deny being racist also most often exhibit racist behavior and beliefs, however subtly. Recognizing our own biases--whether we make negative or positive assumptions based on someone's apparent race--is a critical and little-discussed first step towards fixing anything. I have only realized my own biases far more recently than I would like to admit, and I am still very much a work-in-progress. It’s well past time we all take an honest look at ourselves. Only then can we hope to work toward any meaningful change.