March 27th, 2017

Over two weeks have passed since my last surgery, but I'm still very much recovering from it. The biggest hurdles left to overcome at this point are side-effects more than anything else. My various incision sites are all healing well, and my right shoulder—which has a cool new scar from the thoracotomy—is getting less sore and becoming increasingly mobile. I'll need to continue stretching and exercising it, but it's progressing well for the most part. The tougher challenges are rib soreness and a weird, superficial numbness around my ribs and across my chest. The combination of the two means that my breathing has a lot further to go yet; normally I can easily inhale 4+ liters, but right now I’m barely able to get 2. It’s definitely a work in progress still.

But at least I can focus on surgery recovery and, for now, don’t have to worry about the prospect of losing healthcare coverage. I can remain on my $40,000 a month chemo and continue to incur an average $1million a year in treatment costs without getting cut off for being too expensive. I can again look forward to someday completing treatment, working, and buying my own insurance without fear of being rejected for my numerous pre-existing conditions.

The news that the AHCA would not even be put up for a vote elicited far more than a simple sigh of relief from me, though my joy was tempered somewhat by the knowledge that a key part of its failure came from numerous representatives who thought it didn’t go far enough in stripping consumer protections that enable me to have at least a semblance of a fighting chance against my cancer. It boggles my mind, but such is the world in which we live, and such is the consequences of rampant selfishness cheaply-veneered as virtuous self-reliance and personal responsibility, rather than an emphasis on caring for others and recognizing our shared responsibilities. For now though, I’m going to take a little break from thinking about the possible destruction of healthcare in this country and work on my incentive spirometer. Next goal: 2.5 liters.

Compassionate Healthcare

Probably the biggest source of stress in my life is the raging ongoing healthcare debate in this country. Perhaps you find that odd, since cancer represents a much more tangible threat to my life. After all, I’m writing this from a hospital room, having had surgery last week Thursday, another surgery Friday, and two smaller procedures in the time between those operations. I need at least one more surgery yet, which I’ll get in a couple weeks, and the end of treatment is nowhere in sight yet. But that doesn’t bother me as much as the specter of an impending healthcare disaster.

Right now I know I can get whatever treatment my doctors prescribe, be it more chemo, more radiation, more surgery, or, as it seems right now, all of the above. But major upheaval and disruption—not to mention outright destruction of consumer protections—could make the life-saving care I and millions like me need unattainable. For me healthcare is so intensely personal that I cannot comprehend how so many people have reduced this issue to numbers and monetary values.

The national conversation about healthcare tends to start from a perspective of costs. How fair current systems are, who should pay how much, and a general spirit of complaint that healthcare is too expensive are dominant themes. Simply put this is the wrong starting point. We need to begin by considering how we might craft a compassionate healthcare system that gives coverage to everyone, a system in which none of us, especially those who are most marginalized and in need, fall through the cracks. Figuring out the most fair and cost-effective way to pay for such a system should come second. Obviously any system we choose will have to be financially viable, and I don’t mean to dismiss financial concerns. Finances will ultimately make or break any system. But finances should not be the primary foundation and focus of our healthcare system. Covering people should be.

Too often though covering people comes secondary to saving money. Giving some people the choice to spend less at the expense of covering those who are not profitable for insurance companies is—somehow—an acceptable tradeoff, according to many. This is despicable in and of itself. But the fact that most of the people most intent on prioritizing saving money over saving lives claim to be Christians is irreconcilable.

Jesus himself said that “you cannot serve God and money” (Matthew 6:25), while the greatest commandments given to us are to love God and love others as ourselves (Mark 12:29-31). To value money more than the lives of others blatantly stands opposed to Jesus’ central message, example, and heart. Christianity should provide us with a deeper well of love for us to draw from when we deal with others. We can and should tap into the infinite source of God's love at all times, especially when our own capacity to love others runs dry. Sadly though much of what I’ve seen and experienced in the debates surrounding healthcare has been quite the opposite.

I’ve seen the most vocal Christians make some of the most hateful and hurtful statements while those of unknown, other, or no religious affiliation have been some of the most gracious and compassionate people, both in the national conversation and in discussions I’ve personally been part of. I hope and pray that all who strive to follow Christ will see this profoundly troubling disconnect and get back in touch with God’s heart, a heart of love for all people.